Parent,First,Coach,Second,Trad sports Be a Parent First, Coach Second
For one it is very convenient. Football jerseys come in different colors and designs. There are so many things that separate one shirt from another. Searching for the right shirt requires a little help. With a search engine, that is easy. Wh Adidas launched the world's first pair of seamless running shoes. Once you arrived the top of mountain, you would see the mountains are little. The phrase of classic statement from the poem Du Fu has become the motto of many Donkey Friends.
Traditionally, the holidays are atime for family. So what better time to take a step back and re-evaluate yourpriorities than during this time when things usually slow down a bit?Especially when it comes to being a parent/coach. Most people who coach startout for the right reasons. Usually a team their daughter is on needs a coach,the coach has some knowledge and wants to give back to the game, and theparents wants to spend more quality time with his/her daughter. Somewhere alongthe way, though, competitive natures come out and even for those with the bestintentions it becomes a little less about spending time with your daughter andmore about racking up the W's. That's when the trouble starts. Suddenly yourdaughter isn't your daughter anymore. She's the kid who threw a pitch down themiddle on an 0-2 count with the winning run on second. Or she's the kid whodropped the easy fly ball, booted the grounder, or popped up with runners inscoring position. At that point, just when she needs a hug and aLifesaver candy, she instead gets the dagger eyes from the coach/parent whoexpected her to do better in that tough situation. "She's a better playerthan that," you think. "She knew the game was on the line and shechoked. Arrrgggghhh!" Yes, that's true. She is, and she did. She knows it.She definitely knows it. And what she needs is a parent to tell her everythingwill be ok, the sun will come up tomorrow and the world will keep on spinning.But if you're too busy being the Coach, you may forget to tell her that. I'vesaid it before and I will say it again: kids are not short adults. (It's not anoriginal statement to me, by the way, but I think it's an apt description.)They react to adversity differently than we do. And they react to approval, orlack of it, differently than we do too. It's important to keep that in mind,especially since they may hear both their coach and their parent sayingsomething to them in the same breath. It's not just about games, either. While youmay have dreams of your daughter playing in the WCWS, her dreams for her careermay be different. You have to remember it's her career and react appropriately.I remember one warm, sunny Easter Sunday suggesting to my oldest daughter thatwe go out and pitch after breakfast. Her reaction: "It's Easter!" Toher it was a holiday, and that meant it was a no softballzone. I knew she could use the practice, and that it would help her get better,which meant her team (which I coached) would win more. But she was having noneof it. It's not that she didn't want to win, but it wasn't as all-consuming toher as it was to me. At that point I had to step back and be a parent whosupports his daughter in HER quest instead of basing her life on MY priorities. In the post-holiday glow, do a littleself-evaluation. If you are coachingyour own daughter (or your son for that matter, because it's the same on thatside), ask yourself whether you're treating your child as your child or as aplayer. Give it some real thought. Then ask your daughter. The answer may surprise you. Your daughterwill be your player for only a few short years, but she will be your daughterfor your whole life. Keep that in mind and you will find the whole relationshipgoes a lot more smoothly.
Parent,First,Coach,Second,Trad