Career,Advice,amp,#58,Eyeball, business, insurance Career Advice: Eyeball Etiquette

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The other night I was watching the World Wrestling Federation, which issomething that I like to do every Thursday night. I know, I know, but I findthe show entertaining and relaxing in a strange way ... it's so ridiculousthat there is no way to take it seriously.Anyway, Stone Cold Steve Austin (one of the famous wrestlers with anotoriously bad temper) was chewing someone out. Suddenly Steve stopped inmid-sentence and said "Look at me when I'm talking to you". The personlooked at him, then after another minute looked away. Steve repeated hiswords again, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!". This happened severaltimes.This little drama got me to thinking, what is it about the eyes? When youare talking to someone where should you be looking? Does where you put youreyes have anything to do with advancement in your career?It has been said that the "eyes are the mirror to the soul", and in myexperience this has proven to be true time and time again. I have gotteninto the habit of looking people directly in their eyes when I speak to themand as I am listening to what they have to say.Why? Because I can tell more about a person from they way he handles hiseyeballs than you can imagine.Someone who can look me in the eye as I speak to them is very sure ofhimself (note we are not talking about a hostile stare - just someone whocan look at me as I speak to them). Combine this with a strong handshake anda favorable demeanor and you have a person who will be very good for anyteam. These people tend to be leaders and very capable people. They takedirection well because, since they are paying attention to you, theyunderstand what's needed to get the job done.Don't get me wrong here. We are not talking about a staring contest. What Iam saying is someone who can look me in the eye while I speak is almostcertainly listening to what I have to say. He is not afraid of me or myposition, which is excellent in a team member. I am the kind of manager whodoes not like nor want "yes men" (or women) - I have found them to beuseless parasites which should be ejected at the earliest opportunity.Thus, when I meet someone, I am most impressed when they have a firmhandshake and can look at me directly. This implies strength of characterand a strong will. These kinds of people are rare and they are to betreasured and nurtured when they are found.The worst thing someone can do when they are talking to someone is totallyavoid eye contact. I know you've run into this, and if you are anything likeme it's very annoying. When I get someone in front of my desk with thishabit I start wishing I was Stone Cold Steve Austin and could say, "Look atme when I'm talking to you!"Avoidance of eye contact implies fear and subservience. Combine that with aweak handshake and a disheveled demeanor and you have someone that youshould not trust. In fact, you have a person whom you should not allowanywhere near you.Some good rules to follow for "eyeball etiquette" are listed below.Be able to look people in the eye or face as they are speaking, but don'tget into a staring contest. Occasionally looking around at other people, sayin a meeting, helps maintain a good sense of balance in the conversation.Keep your face friendly as you speak. If you have a hostile appearance andyou are looking people in the eye, then you are implicitly challenging them.Unless you are the leader of a gang, this is probably something that youwant to avoid.Men, it's bad manners to glance at a lady's chest (or other sexual bodyparts) as you converse. Don't think women notice? They do, and it lowerstheir opinion of you. Treat any women in your office as you would like to betreated - with respect.In meetings, keep your attention on the speaker. You are in the meeting togain and give information or direction. Keeping your eyes on the person whois speaking implies that you are paying attention. It's also a good idea tooccasionally look down at your pad of paper (you should always bring pen andpaper to meetings) and write a few notes. This screams out, "you just saidsomething important so I am writing it down". It's also an opportunity toavoid the implicit challenge that could arise from a constant, fixed stare.In meetings, you should also occasionally look around. There are otherpeople in a meeting (usually), and if so you should be sure to look at themonce in a while to get their reactions, and to also invite comment anddiscussion. At the very least, it's a way to shake yourself awake if thespeaker is boring or monotonous.When your boss is speaking, keep focused on him or her. Your boss is tellingyou something, man, look at him! This person has authority over you andpresumably has power over your raises, reviews and progress up the corporateladder. Listen to him, and show you are listening by looking at him.There is nothing interesting on the floor. Have you ever noticed that asmost people walk they are looking at the ground? What in the heck is sointeresting about the floor or pavement that it commands all of theirattention? Sometimes I just have to glance down and see if perhaps someartist came by and painting something wonderful on the floor while I wasout! People, there is an entire world out there - look around and see what'sthere. Article Tags: Eyeball Etiquette