Anger,and,the,American,Family, DIY Anger and the American Family: Learn to Respond Rather than
When starting a new work at home business it is very easy to become consumed by it. We spend so much time trying to get the business up and running that we may end up becoming burned out and lose our motivation. There is so much to learn and Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0in
Unable to get the usual reaction from her, he calmed down and instantly became rational and more reasonable.Case #2. Tom, 42, would become ballistic reacting to his 17 year old daughter who refused to see she was dating a loser boy. The more he yelled, the deeper she dug her heels and refused to give up the boy.Applying the anger management tool of respond instead of react, Tom decided to try something different by includingthe boy into the family activities (as much as he could stand). After about three weeks of this, the daughteron herowndecided her prince-charming wasnt the person she needed to enhance her life and ended the relationship.Learn to be flexibleIndividuals who practice good health do not continue behavior that doesnt achieve desired results. Instead, they adjustor fine tunetheir responses depending on the situation.There are many advantages to learning to be more flexibleand response-able in dealing with the stresses and frustrations in your life.At the top of the list is a sense of empowerment. It just feels good to know that you are in charge of your responses, instead of being controlled by other people or circumstances.Case # 3. Sixty-four year old Lynn left anger management class one night to find her apartment completely floodeddue to a burst water pipe.Adding to her stress, her insurance company initially refused to pay her claim. She later told us, I decided to use the tool you taught us of responding instead of reacting, so I cleaned up the whole place myself. I cant tell you how wonderful and liberating it felt to know that I didnt have to get upset. Later, calmer, she recontacted her insurance agent who, this time, agreed to honor her claim! Learn to respond differently.Step 1: Examine your attitude. Negative voices in your head can be quite convincing persuading you to judge others, be pessimistic, or think negatively, while creating the destructive feelings that go along with destructive thoughts.Try to create a louder, more persuasive voice that helps you identify an equally believable, more optimistic viewpoint.Step 2: Regulate your emotions. There are many ways to regulate your emotions and feelings in your life, including being your own best friend, eating well, exercising, playing, listening to uplifting music, getting in touch with a spiritual system, and creating emotional connections with others by sincere listening.Step 3: Try alternative behaviors. Behaving differently is one of the most effective ways to show response flexibilityand get different results in your life. But, doing things differently is not easy! We are all creatures of habit and we tend to continue behaving in comfortable and familiar ways.One of the challenges in behaving differently is, of course, coming up with ideas on how else we can behave differently in various situations.Start by understanding that much of our behavior is determined by a feeling or emotion we are havingor we wish to have. But a specific behavior does not HAVE to be connected with that feeling.Try alternative behaviors when you get those angry feelings by asking yourself, What are some other ways I can dealwith this situation?Often they include behaviors like taking a brisk walk, assertively communicating with your family member, taking a timeout, picking your battles, or listening to soothing music.Ask yourself: What are some other ways I can deal with thissituation? Respond vs. react: The difference between react and respond is automatic reflex versus a thoughtful, reflective response that considers different ways of dealing with a situation. A reaction is a kneejerk,automatic action. A response, however, is dealing with a situation by considering options and likely outcomes,then choosing the best.
Anger,and,the,American,Family,