Why,Good,Divorce,Matters,Belie law Why A “Good” Divorce Matters


Bankruptcy is a situation, wherein an individual is termed as unable to discharge all the debts. When a person or a company is not able to pay off its creditors, it has an obligation to file a bankruptcy suit. In fact, a bankruptcy suit is a When you work with an attorney, you will have no problem reducing the risks associated with getting your case in front of a judge and jury, or other formal court, when you need to. However, every case is different. It is important to work wi


Believe it or not, your divorce can provide the opportunityto heal a relationship that has been painful – maybe even destructive.  Sound impossible? It’s not. In fact, HOW you choose to move through thejourney of your divorce can impact the shape and form of your relationships andyour family life for many years to come. In my 20 plus years of helping couples divorce (I nowpractice in Walnut Creek, CA) I have had confirmed time and again that if youchoose a non-adversarial, collaborative process to divorce: 1) Antagonism anddefensiveness can be mitigated; 2) Conflict can morph into cooperation; 3) Andeven as you go your separate ways and unravel the complex tapestry of yourmarriage, you have the ability to consciously let go of hurt, anger andresentment – all factors that contribute to the healing of your relationship. A “good” divorce can teach you and your spouse the toolsyou’ll need to interact in productive and constructive way with your ex-spouseand the tools you’ll need to co-parent your children effectively for many yearsto come.  In a “good divorce” that engages a team of well-trainedattorneys, mental health experts, and a financial expert you’ll receive thesupport and tools you need to treat yourself with dignity and respect. When youare able to receive that respect and appreciation, you’ll be better equipped totreat your spouse with respect and appreciation.  It’s a cycle of respect and appreciation thatsnowballs – and helps you and your spouse collaborate in ways that might not havebeen possible during your marriage. When you think of the actual divorce process as anopportunity for healing and growth, the walls come down, issues are no longerbecome something to fight over. Instead they are things to resolve. A “good” divorce in which you and your spouse decide that one of you does nothave to “win” at the expense of the other, you can actually end the cycle ofconflict. The divorce coaches who are also part of a collaborative practiceteam can help you and your spouse look at your relationship and find the cycleof conflict, the cycle of resisting, attacking and withdrawing from each other.They can help you notice the pain and frustration that comes from this cycle.They can help you notice that each of you have something to do with whathappens and help you find your role in the conflict.  They can help you heal your relationship and have it besupportive, even as you are deciding to part ways. A child specialist can helpyou and your spouse learn practical tools for managing the “divorce” experienceof your children.  They can also help youto plan and develop thoughtful, constructive, practical, and relevant tools forco-parenting.  In fact, the amount or degree of conflict in your marriage –and in your divorce – is often the biggest predictor of how successful you andyour spouse will be at co-parenting after you have parted.  Divorces with less conflict invitepost-divorce scenarios in which parents communicate with each other, shareinformation, discuss the needs of their children in a more constructive way,and attend child-centered activities together. High conflict divorces tend to lead to what is called “parallelparenting,” which means that parents have minimal contact, don’t communicatewell, cultivate an exclusive parent-child relationship, and can’t attendchild-centered activities together.  Thepreferred choice for your children is obvious. Choosing to use your divorce as a jumping off point forhealing is never easy.  You and yourspouse have to willing to learn new tools, grow in new ways, and, ultimately,to accept responsibility for the part you have played in the conflict.  In the end, it’s about understanding that you do not have totreat your spouse based on how you “get treated” by your spouse. You can eachmove to higher ground…and the collaborative practice model for divorce can giveyou the necessary tools to do so. If you live in Walnut Creek,Contra Costa or Alamedacounties, San Ramon, or anywhere in the Tri-Valley area, consider the benefitof a collaborative model divorce with my colleagues.  We truly believe that our model will help toheal your relationship.  Please come seethe  mediationattorney walnut creek; I am sure that I am the Walnut Creek divorceattorney for you.  When you havesatisfied yourself of the same, call me at 925-932-7026.  Choosethe process that helps you get a “good” divorce.

Why,Good,Divorce,Matters,Belie

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