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- Do you find it hard to talk to your significant other about money?
- Do you avoid it?
- Do you argue every time money comes up?
You are not alone, it has been said that money issues cause 90% of divorces. Most people I talk with say that it is easier to avoid talking about money then deal with it. This usually leaves one partner with all the stress and responsibility, which leads to resentment and anger. So learn how to talk to your significant other now to avoid issues in the future.
Communicate about your money regularly - Set a date to talk about your money each week, or every other week. Make it an unbreakable date. Make sure you cover your goals, plans and hold each other accountable. Also talk about what has worked and what hasn't. Make sure that all parties buy into the plan your create.
Stop the blame game - ok so you have both made mistakes - admit to them. Even if you think you haven't, chances are you have. So forget about "being right" and figure out what you are committed to and how to make it work.
Don't get into the "Well I make more money than you do" scenario - A marriage (or significant relationship) is a partnership. For it to be successful everyone has to play their part and be appreciated for what they contribute. It's not "your money" or "my money", it is "our money".
Talk about your money before issues come up. If you have a plan, then issues won't come up as often. Surprises (or in some cases shocks) are what causes fights.
Create a safe zone to talk about money - Money brings up issues of control, success and failure. Create your relationship to have the room to discuss your feelings and the numbers and cents of it all.
Get help if you need it - There is no shame in paying a professional to mediate or counsel you. Sometimes it takes an interpreter to help you understand what is going on for yourself or your partner. You can pay now - or lawyers later.
Both parties are to be accountable for the finances. Choose one person to pay the bills. Only one person should be "in charge of paying the bills". However, you are both responsible for how the finances go. Don't give up responsibility just because you don't pay the bills, or Don't become the martyr because you are responsible for paying the bills. Discuss all issues at your regular money dates.
What it comes down to is that both parties must communicate regularly, be accountable and take responsibility for the finances.
To have success with your relationships and money, follow the tips above and create a plan together.
Single people - this article is relevant to you whether or not you are in a relationship. If you are not in a relationship, choose a friend or family member to practice talking to about your money. If you don't talk about money now with others, chances are you won't talk about it when you get into a relationship in the future. Regardless, by you talking about money with others, you are bringing your issues out into the open and may be an inspiration to others, especially the younger people in your life.
Relationships,and,Money,Tips,H