Top,Strategies,How,Communicate family Top 5 Strategies - How to Communicate With Your Children’s O


A lot of women avoid wearing nice clothes when they getpregnant because they believe that they look fat or ugly. You know that there’snothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman glowing and smiling, so youshouldn’t hide your body during p Raising a family can be challenging and stressful at times. However, the common goals and emotional, financial, and physical investments made can be a common bond between husband and wife. One that compliments their marriage relationship.Of


Normal 0 MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;mso-para-margin:0in;mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman";}I heard a journalist say recentlythat “there’s a vicious and respect less way of communicating that’s reservedexclusively for the ‘divorced with children’”. Ouch, that hurt! Probablybecause it’s so true. It doesn’t have to be like that and for the sake ofbuilding a bridge with our children’s other parent here are some ground-rulesfor practicing how to play fare. (For the sake of ease here, I’m going toassume that we’re talking about divorce or separation and that the childrenhave residence with their mum; their dad having moved to a separate home).1.  Focus on the Present and the FutureConversations between separated Mums and Dads about the past often get heated,stressed and even dangerous. Ideally, you want to get to a point where yourcommunication is calm and actively contributes to a positive future. If youhave unresolved issues relating to your past relationship, you must find a wayto process these independently to your conversations with your ex. Find a goodcounselor, a qualified friend or family member (i.e. they know how to keep youmoving forward and are not going to spend time just agreeing with you), or ananger-management therapist – whoever it is, work through your feelings aboutyour ex-partner in a constructive and forward-focused way in your own time.2.    Focus on the Children’s WellbeingRemember that regardless of what you think about your child’s other parent,your child loves you both and is not a pawn. Try to encourage a goodrelationship with their dad after he’s moved away and build up the time yourchildren spend with him to a level where everyone’s happy. Initially it may bethat the children just want to be in familiar surroundings for the majority ofthe time. Encourage and equip them to talk about how they feel and be aware notto manipulate or colour their thinking. Asking what they want is a good start,however sometimes they will have to be stretched out of their comfort zone(like they may just have to go and spend the weekend at Dad’s flat) for thelong-term benefit of all their relationships.3.    Give Yourself a Time Limit for ConversationsIf you find that your tolerance level for being civil to your ex-partner islimited, then make sure you only talk in short blocks of time. Practice, ‘doingdiaries’ in under 10 minutes. If you feel yourself start to get anxious, thensuggest that ‘we look at this again next week’. 4.    Get Comfortable With Not ConcludingNot all conversations about our children have to be concluded right now. Try toplan ahead when negotiating access, holidays, saving for gifts, having yourchildren be at their friend’s parties, etc. Mention ahead of time that you’dlike to take the children to Cornwall, or you want to have them visit their Granny on herbirthday. This will allow time for both parties to consider the benefits forthe children and to consider what a compromise or re-negotiation might looklike. 5.    Be RespectfulChallenging though it might be, talking to your ex with respect is the best wayto begin to change things for the better. I know how hard this can be –especially in the early days; but it will get easier with practice andpersistence. You owe it to yourself and to your children and ultimately it willreduce anxiety and increase happiness all round.

Top,Strategies,How,Communicate

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