From,Breakup,Breakthrough,Big, business, insurance From Breakup to Breakthrough: 4 “Big Truths”

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Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-priority:99;mso-style-qformat:yes;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;mso-para-margin-top:0in;mso-para-margin-right:0in;mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-para-margin-left:0in;line-height:115%;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}I’m about to share a very personalexperience with you. This is not something I’ve always felt comfortable doingbut my hope is that many of you will relate as well as benefit from somepowerful lessons I’ve recently learned—lessons learned not by choice.Some months ago I became involved in arelationship. In spite of my initial hesitation and after being patiently butardently pursued by the other person I slowly let go and began to trust that itcould work. I began to open up to trust and love. Things seemed to beblossoming until I began to see subtle signs that he might not be capable offully participating in a deeply intimate and emotionally committed relationshipeven though he desired it. Unfortunately I ignored the signs, hoping that maybean open two-way communication could resolve the bumps along the road eventhough I could feel my serenity slipping away.Not long afterward I returned fromvacation and found a message waiting for me in my email inbox from this personsuddenly ending the relationship, and with only a vague explanation. Wow. Myimmediate reaction was hurt, shock and disappointment that commitment and trustcould be so lightly discarded. I always like to see the best in people andassume they will honor the trust you’ve given them, or at least be able to havean open and honest conversation if they can’t. However not everyone is capableof this because, let’s face it, open and transparent communication can be scaryand it takes a certain type of courage.Most of us have probably been in thisplace of heartbreak and sadness but I determined that I would not get stuckthere.  I immediately turned to what I call my “transform-it toolkit”.These are the toolsI have mindfully chosen that can create a truemindset and heart-set shift so Ican accept what is, and create innerchange.Your toolkit can include regularpractices that work for you such as: meditation, prayer, contemplation, naturewalks, yoga, reading inspirational books or scriptures that help you shift, andpowerful conversation with loving, safe, trustworthy and non-judgmentalfriends. Using your toolkit regularly is what keeps you emotionally andspiritually open to amazing possibilities in your life that you can’t evenimagine because you haven’t experienced them yet.The purpose of this toolkit is to helplead you quickly toward healing and toward total honesty with yourself. You see, it’s easy to get stuck in anger, blame or sadness, or simply shut offyour feelings but I knew that wasn’t where I wanted to stay because I chose tolive in joy.  My toolkit helps me quickly release old pain, anger, shame,guilt, sadness or indifference and reveal these 4Big Truths–1.     Everything happens for a reason. Our job is to figure out the reason and thelesson2.     Everything that happens holds a mirror up to me to show me where I need tochange and be more honest with myself. It can be hard to swallow and I maychose to ignore it and stay in my comfort zone, but I do so at the expense ofnever knowing deeper love, greater joy or never feeling or experiencing lifefully3.      Eachperson is at a different place on the path we all travel toward knowingourselves fully and being emotionally mature, open and loving. If we each tryto respect where the other is, then we can let them move at their pace, notours, even if that means leaving them behind.4.      I amtotally responsible for the life I create and how I react to every situationthat occurs in my life.So when that unexpected email landed inmy in-box signaling the end of my relationshipmy first step was tosurround myself with loving, spiritually grounded friends to get someperspective on the situation. Next I worked on revealing these 4 truths byusing the tools that work for me. One powerful tool is The Work of Byron Katieand her book “Loving What Is”. With her simple but profound 4-step process Ican uncover the answers to these questions:What is the reason and what is the lesson?Where is the situation a mirror I need to hold up to myself? What judgment have I made of the other (person or situation) that also mirrors something I need to look at in myself?How can I accept the other—the person or situation I’ve judged—as being exactly where they are, not where I want them to be? Our minds keep saying “what if?” but that thought just keeps us stuck expecting the other to be something they can’t be at this point in their life’s journey. They aren’t ready and maybe that means they will never fully experience what you know is possible, but that is their choice to make.How can I surrender the person or situation and let it go with light and love, even when I know it’s not what I would have wished, but it is WHAT IS.How can I use this new understanding of myself to transform my life, my situation, my relationships, my business for the betteOther “tools” that reinforce this workfor me are meditation and contemplation.  One of several revelations I hadwas that I needed to express –and stay grounded in–the essence of who I am moreopenly and powerfully in my life and my business (I’m starting here), and thatI need to be in loving relationships only with others who want to do the same.This will take courage and I’m working on it each day.Just like your life, your business is areflection of you. If your thoughts and beliefs about yourself, yourrelationships or your situation are limiting; if you are blaming others and notlooking in the mirror; if you are hiding from the truth so you don’t have tofeel emotional discomfort, then how can you fully express who you are in theworld and how can you attract the right people or situations to you?So what do you do when you’re hurt,frustrated, stuck or discouraged? You get out your “Transform It Toolkit” andput it to work for you. Using my toolkit has created not only healing and adeeper understanding of myself, but is helping me land in a much better place,and putting together and using your own toolkit can do the same for you.And yes, it takes courage, time andpatience to be open and vulnerable, to admit mistakes, to change old habits andbeliefs that are closing you off from the life you want to live. And thismeans—to borrow a phrase used by several of my colleagues—you have to put onyour Big Girl (or Big Boy) Panties! But you do need to chose—do you want tosimply survive or do you want to thrive.Using your toolkit can clear your innerpath of debris and darkness so you can let your Divine and powerful lightexpress itself fully.I’d love to know what’s in your toolkitand how it’s made a difference in your life. Please share your thoughts byposting a comment below