Six,Tips,Manage,Sticky,Situati business, insurance Six Tips to Manage Sticky Situations at Work

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When your boss asks youto do something that you feel is unethical, what do you do?  If you spot two co-workers having an intimatelunch, what do you do?  How do you handletelling a long-time employee that his job has been eliminated? One of the biggestheadaches any manager faces is dealing with “people” problems.  As a trainer and a coach, I hear people sayover and over, “If I didn’t have to deal with the people, I’d love myjob.”  Whether it is telling someone theymust improve performance, or they cannot continue to meet privately withclients, sticky situations arise no matter where your work.I recently published abook titled, Managing Sticky Situations at Work: Communication Secrets forSuccess in the Workplace.  In it Iintroduced a way to handle all kinds of sticky situations.  My purpose was to present a road map, somethingwe could turn to when these kinds of situations arise.  So many of us spend sleepless nightswondering what to say and how to say it—wondering if we should say it now orwait until another time, or wondering what will happen if we don’t say it.  The Say It Just Right model of communication givesyou the tools you need to handle people problems professionally.  In this article I will share five tips tomanage sticky situations at work.  Thesetips will start you on the path to say it just right.• Don’t take matterspersonally.  When people problems arise,most of us think we did or said something that made them happen.  We believe we are responsible for whatever isgoing on.  It helps to remember thatsticky situations occur all the time and have nothing to do with you or yourleadership.  What has to do with you isthe way you respond to those situations. Recognize that people need someone to blame when they misbehave.  Didn’t we all do that as kids?  Remember when your parents caught you doingsomething you shouldn’t do?  Didn’t youpoint your finger at your brother or sister or best friend?  It was never your fault. This is a naturaldefensive reaction.  Do not take itpersonally.  Listen and move forward.• Treat people as adults(even if they act like kids).  Sometimesas managers, we forget that we are dealing with adults.  Adults make adult-like decisions.  By that I mean they do not act withoutthinking.  If someone decided to stealmoney from the till, they didn’t just suddenly do it.  They thought it out and acted knowing theymay have to face consequences.  That’swhat adults do.  We do understand rightfrom wrong. If we treat the personlike a child, we belittle them and take away their dignity.  Instead, we must give them the benefit of thedoubt and show a willingness to listen to their side of the story, no matter whatthey did.  I had a client who was apsychiatrist.  He had a trusted officemanager.  After he retired, he learnedthat this trusted office manager had stolen money from him.  She skimmed off the uncollectable funds thatcould not be traced.  My client wasshocked.  He felt betrayed.  His office manager gave him many reasons forher behavior, including that she had a child who needed care she couldn’tafford.  This person didn’t suddenlydecide to steal money, she thought about it. She justified her behavior.  Myclient listened to her side of the story and showed empathy.  By doing that, he worked out a mutuallyacceptable solution.  She paid him backevery cent, and he agreed not to report her behavior to the authorities.• Different peoplerespond differently.  In the book I talka lot about the different personality styles we all run into.  We cannot expect everyone to react tosituations the same way.  That’s part ofwhat makes management and leadership so challenging.  If you apply my version of the Golden Rule:Do Unto Others as They Want Done Unto Them, and not the actual Golden Rule,which suggests people want done unto them what you want, you will have moresuccess.  Ask yourself what kind ofperson am I dealing with?  What are theirneeds and wants?• Genuinely listen.  The most valuable gift you can give anyone ishearing what they have to say.  Thatmeans even when you feel they have nothing to contribute, you must erase yourjudgment and listen.  When you listen tothe other person, you learn things you may have never known.  People situations escalate when we makejudgments without listening and understanding. Part of the way we communicate is to make assumptions.  We are bombarded with so many stimuli, thatwe cannot process everything.  Somepeople say, never assume anything. That’s not possible.  Your goal isto know when you’ve made assumptions. Listen with your full attention and see what happens.• Recognize you might bea contributing factor.  Takingresponsibility for your actions leads to resolving problems.  As a trained mediator, I challenged eachparty in a dispute to talk about what they would do to resolve theproblem.  What would they do to changetheir behavior?  Even if you feelblameless, there’s always something you can contribute to the resolution.  Once you take responsibility for your role,the other person shows a greater willingness to recognize theirs. • Don’t cornerpeople.  Many sticky situations areembarrassing.  People know they’ve donesomething they shouldn’t, and they don’t want to be caught.  Even though you must confront people withtheir behavior, don’t make them feel cornered. If they see no way out, no resolution, they fight back and theinteraction escalates.  When you showunderstanding and a willingness to listen, you demonstrate that you believethere is a way out.  Even in the worstcase scenarios, don’t corner or challenge people to fight you. The Say It Just Rightmodel gives you many more tips and specific examples to manage sticky situationswhether at work or at home.  To become apowerful leader—one people respect—you must learn how to handle peopleproblems.  You can begin by not takingmatters personally, treating people as adults, dealing with people on theirterms, genuinely listening, recognizing that you might be a contributingfactor, and never putting people in a corner.