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George Gallup said,"Employees don't leave jobs, they leave managers." He discovered thisfact after surveying many workers in all kinds of industries.  When he looked for what makes a jobsatisfying, he discovered the primary factor was the boss.  If you have a bad, frustrating boss, youmight leave your job even if it is a good job. With the costs for hiring and training new people soaring each year,organizations are looking for ways to retain employees.  They pay people like Gallup to tell them what factors keep peoplehappy enough to stay in their jobs.  Ifyou've ever had a job where you said, "I really love my job, but my bossis driving me crazy," then you understand how important it is for bossesto learn how to deal with sticky situations involving subordinates.  Daniel Goleman came up with acatchy concept called Emotional Intelligence or EI.  In his book, Primal Leadership, hediscovered that managers with a high retention rate also have a high EI—a highscore on compassion, listening, and caring about others.  In fact if you think back on the managersyou've worked for in your life, what characteristics did they have?  Here are a few I recall: good listener,positive attitude about my work, would challenge me but not beyond my limits,supportive, and enthusiastic.  Golemanfound that managers who understood feelings and emotions became more successfulleaders.  A high EI score means you are amanager who strives to learn more about yourself and your behaviors in order toimprove your skills as a person, not just as a leader.  In essence, you learn to care about yourselfand about others at the same time.How to Discipline Using the SIJR ModelGiven what Gallup learned about leaders and what DanielGoleman tells us about Emotional Intelligence, how can those of us who want tobe good managers effectively discipline employees? Discipline carries a negativeconnotation fraught with memories of trips to the principal's office or ofscolding words from our parents.  Anempathetic manager with a high EI score might find disciplining tough.  In answer to the question—how can we managewith compassion and still discipline—we must understand exactly what disciplinemeans.  The word discipline comes fromthe Latin word diciplina, meaningdisciple.  Wikipedia tells us thatdiscipline has as its root discere"to learn," and derives from discipulus,or pupil.  A disciple, therefore, is afollower or a student.  Similarly, todiscipline someone means to teach that person. The early 90's brought aplethora of literature about discipline without punishment in an effort to showthat discipline and punishment do not necessarily go together. In fact while disciplining, a good managerlearns to communicate expected behaviors in an open, clear, and directmanner.  To discipline, you must employthe principles of the SIJR Conversation, namely you want to create a two-waydialogue about what you expect and what is possible from both the manager's andthe employee's perspective.  Coming froman orientation of the Three C's—curiosity, compassion and change—managers withhigh EI scores excel as disciplinarians.Factors Inherent in any Disciplinary ConversationState behaviors that mustchange.  When we specify behaviors in the SIJRConversation, we identify the behaviors in a way that clearly communicates whatwe are talking about.  Example: "Mark,you have missed the deadline for two major projects.  When you didn't get the work to Janice intime, we had to shelve the project.  Ithas caused us to lose two rather important jobs.  We must get your end of the project completedtwo weeks before deadline."  Thisexample provides Mark with information about what behavior his boss expects aswell as what problems his behavior caused.Keep the Other Person inMind.  In a disciplinary conversation, we open ourminds to understanding more than our side of the story.  Your organization may have rules that may nolonger prove productive.  When you allowemployees to share their frustrations, youopen up the possibility to the existence of administrative barriers that blockproductivity.  Example.  Mark responds, "I missed both deadlinesbecause I got the project data too late. Nathan couldn't get the data to me because his computer crashed."Select the Right Time andPlace.  We all remember our dread when our teacherssent us to the principal's office.  Aschildren, we recognized the principal's office as a place of power where we didnot belong.  Before delivering the badnews, think about the place and the time.  Find a place that feels safe to the otherperson.  If you work in the world ofcubicles, go to one of the conference rooms. Be careful not to share badnews when the person is experiencing a personal crisis or about to give animportant presentation.  Select a timethat will enable you to have an open dialogue. If the time you select adds pressure, the dialogue will shut down.Stress PositiveConsequences.  Often when dealing with performance issues,we think only in the negative.  Ourchallenge is to come up with positive consequences.  The behavioral psychologists tell us thatmice respond to shocks, but they also tell us mice respond to bits of food aswell.  Positive consequences create awillingness to change.  Negativeconsequences produce a short-term willingness to change only when the axe ishanging over our heads.  Example:  "Mark, if you get us two new projects,we might make our projections this year. That recognition might be the boost you've been looking for to get yourpromotion."