Alternative,Notions,Life,Diffe DIY Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (8): Heartbrea

When starting a new work at home business it is very easy to become consumed by it. We spend so much time trying to get the business up and running that we may end up becoming burned out and lose our motivation. There is so much to learn and Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0in

By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo, Copyright August2008 “Prosperity:  The eternal flow of all that’s good in life…” (*This articleis based on the ideas presented in the book “My Friend Yu – The ProsperityMentor,” Copyright August 2007 and further expanded upon in “My Friend Yu – TheProsperity Mentor, Book II,” Release Date: 2008.  Pantejo - Y.N. VurcePublishing.) “I can’t stopfeeling lousy and I cry at the drop of a hat. Isn’t there some kind of fast, simple “trick” to get me back to somesemblance of normality?”  They asked,almost hysterically… Even though allpersonal situations of break-up are different, and recovery from heartbreak cantake months (if not years), I’ve found that there really is a simple way tobegin healing. I call it the“Thank You Trick.”  But it’s not really atrick.  It’s not a temporary illusionthat loses its luster after all the mechanics are revealed.  It works like pure magic. And it becomesmore real when you understand why it works. It moves youaway from the victim mentality and puts you back in the driver’s seat of yourmind (and your life).  It replacesresentment with gratitude. And it lays downa solid foundation for hope. The followingarticle briefly explains what it is, how to do it, and a few reasons why itworks so effectively. But first, themost common way of coping… - Denial andSuppression - The most common,but ultimately useless, method of coping with negative emotions associated witha break-up is Denial or Suppression. Denial or Suppressionof those bad feelings (i.e., confusion, sadness, anger, etc.) will only plantthem deeper into your soul where they grow and eventually overtake all the goodin your life. Over the years, I’veexperienced and observed this first-hand many times. Initially, manypeople enjoy temporary relief by burying their emotions from plain sight.  Like the proverbial ostrich, they think thefeelings will automatically go away if they just ignore them long enough. You know what Imean? You feel likeyou’ve finally gotten over it.  Theheartache monster has jumped off your chest, allowing you to breathe a littleeasier.  In fact, you can actually take afew deep, long breaths again.  You’re not“a stutter of a breath away” from sadness and tears anymore. Then somethingtriggers the flood gates to open - again. It could be anold song, a familiar place, a food, a fragrance, or even one of the hundreds of“ex look-alikes” that seem to come out of the woodwork after your lover leavesyour life.  Then the growing, pent upemotions emerge, breaking down all your carefully built barriers like a ragingtsunami. It’s painful andtorturous to live on the edge of such an emotional abyss.  You need to find some way to gain control ofthese situations.  Failure to do soleaves you at the mercy of everything and anyone that could trigger anothersession of sadness. - Don’t try to Erase.  Change or Replace - In the case ofyour emotions and thoughts, if they don’t serve you in any positive way, theyneed to be modified or replaced. Emotions, likethoughts, can’t be erased.  They can onlybe changed (or replaced).  Think of itthis way:  Your mind is similar todigital media.  Nothing is ever erased,just edited or overwritten. The “Thank YouTrick” can do this. But before Iexplain how to do it, we must discuss the nature of things… - All ThingsMust “Be” - To understandwhy the “Thank You Trick” works, you need to grasp the importance of “being”and why it’s absolutely vital for healing. Your feelings,like everything else in life, need to "be," before they can changeand move on.  Recognition, Acceptance,and Love are the only ways to let them “have their time” and flow back into thecurrent of life to teach the next person. You are blockingyour own growth by clinging to the past. The past ispast.  Now is your onlytime. Your presentmoment is where your power resides; the power to heal past hurts, and the powerto lay the groundwork for a better tomorrow for you and your loved ones. All livingthings must change (meaning: grow/evolve) or die. That’s why it’s called Life. You need to getto the point where the thoughts of your “ex” have changed/evolved so much thatthey can pass through your mind without stirring up negative emotions. - Pain Redux - There was areason you attracted him or her; hence, he/she entered your life.  Your “ex” manifested in your life to let youexperience something and to teach you something important about yourself. Without learningfrom this experience, your individual lesson of life, you are doomed topainfully repeat it over and over again. Ultimately, you mustfind that lesson, embrace it, and learn from it.  Then, and only then can you truly be free. - The LightSwitch Syndrome – Too many thingsin life are erroneously categorized into separate, discreet entities; when infact, they are just gradations of the same thing.  Like a light switch, it seems easier to viewthe world as either on or off, this or that, black or white, etc. But think ofit.  All dichotomies in Life are mere misinterpretationsof reality. For the IntrepidLife Traveler, isn’t “success” and “failure” just two points on the achievementcontinuum? Isn’t “hot” and“cold” just two ways to describe temperature? Aren’t the colors of the rainbow all part of the perceived spectrum oflight?  Aren’t “misery” and “joy” justtwo residents on the same plane called happiness? Indeed, likePaolo Cuello wrote in his book “The Alchemist,”  *EVERYTHING IS ONE* In fact, theonly time anything appears to be completely separate from the whole, not just aplain individuation, is when someone tries vainly to stunt its growth (i.e.,keep it from changing/evolving by stubbornly trying to hold it in place). And trying tohold a moving, growing object in place takes enormous amounts of energy. It (stasis) goesagainst the prime directive of Life:  tochange, grow, and evolve, etc., and severely taxes the body and soul in theprocess. So, why wasteyour precious Life Energy on a futile activity? Why stunt yourpersonal growth trying to prevent the inevitable; especially when the onlyperson you’re hurting is yourself? - The “Thank YouTrick” - Okay, let’s finallydiscuss the “Thank You Trick.” The followingexercise may sound silly; but believe me, for many simple and complex reasons,it works.  Try it for at least one week; concentratingon one day, one thought at a time. Just one weekand I bet you'll feel better. Here’s what todo the next time you begin feeling bad about your “ex”: Instead offeeling bad or confused when you think of your “ex,” say this to yourself(preferably aloud),  "Thank You _______ (name of your“ex”). We had some good times and some bad times.  I really learned a lot about myself from you.And it's made me a better person. I completely forgive you and myself.  And I sincerely hope you find your way." Just simply sayThank You. That’s it, but Iknow it won’t be easy.  Naturally, itwill be hard at first and you’ll feel weird doing it.  Don’t be surprised if a part of you actuallyresists the first few attempts.  Don’tworry.  It gets much easier withpractice. Think toyourself, “Just one instance at a time. Whenever I get those old bad feelings again, I will use my secretweapon:  the Thank You Trick.” Daily, at anaccelerated rate, you will notice many things. The intensity of your hurt begins to diminish and you’ll find yourselfemploying the Thank You Trick less and less. Before you knowit, you’ll realize that you can think about your “ex” more as an observer andnot be thrown immediately into a past, hurtful experience. Remember, youcan never really leave a situation unless you leave it through recognition,acceptance, and love. And withoutgoing into deep spirituality, the bottom line is this:  Saying thank You injects gratitude into themix. Gratitude keepsyou connected to everything and is purely positive; hence, being more gratefulwill attract more positive things, events, and people into your life. Gratitude is muchmore powerful than you think.  It opensthe door, letting love and forgiveness to rush in. And it will healyou. - Short list of Benefits- The “Thank YouTrick” does the following: 1.    Putsyou back in control; moving you away from the victim mentality.2.    Replaces(not suppresses) negative emotions.3.    Instillsgratitude and attracts more positive things into your life.4.    Promotesforgiveness and love. In short, theThank-You Trick allows you to recognize, accept, and love all situations inyour life - no matter how painful they may seem. And having “runits due course” your pain and suffering will naturally move on. Try theThank-You Trick. What have yougot to lose? I bet you’ll bedelightfully surprised how much better you will feel. Good life to you and yours… “Until next time, be braveenough to take a Different Path.” Your Friend inthis Intrepid Journey called Life, Carl “J.C.”Pantejo Heartache,heartbreak, break up, Thank You Trick, Gratitude, control, victim mentality. Note:  If you want to read more about UniversalLaws, success, unconditional love, exorcizing past personal demons, and theIllusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles: “Alternative Notions of Life, a DifferentPath:  Guardian Angels and UniversalLaws.” “Alternative Notions of Life, a DifferentPath (2):  Trying too hard?” “Alternative Notions of Life, a DifferentPath (3):  First, Be Effective.” “Alternative Notions of Life, a DifferentPath (4):  Intend.  Be Certain.” “Alternative Notions of Life, a DifferentPath (5):  Why me or why not me?  Your choice.” “Alternative Notions of Life, a DifferentPath (6): Gratitude – What’s Your Perspective?” “Experiencesfrom ‘The Flow’ series, articles (1) – (24).” (This is a series of articlesabout love, romance, Asian/Western relationships, relationship analysis, andmore.) “How DareShe!  Out of Desperation I Learned How toForgive” “Remember WhoYou Are!” “Need to HealYour Broken Heart?  Read on.  Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the IllusiveSecret of Happiness.”And much more!                                                                               (By Carl “J.C.”Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or “CarlPantejo”)  [email protected]