How,Have,the,Life,You,Want,The DIY How to Have the Life You Want! - The Art of Receiving

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There's been a lot of public interestrecently about the Laws of Attraction,'The Secret' and such things as 'CosmicOrdering', but what does this actually mean? Can we really bring the thingsinto our life that we desire or dream about? At the core of all these things is the Principle of Receiving – the idea thatall good things are coming towards us if we could just receive them. If we canbecome open to receiving, we can, in principle bring absolutely anything intoour lives and have any experience we desire – clearly it could be a verypowerful ability to have! In the Psychologyof Vision model of love and relationships that I use in my counselling work,we assume that a loving connection is always present in our relationships andthat our healing comes from learning to accept self-love, our love for otherpeople and their love for us. Receiving in relationships is then about removingany barriers we have to receiving love. For those with a spiritual belief,receiving is about being open to the divine love that is always present in ourlives.  At the outset, it can seem ludicrous tothink that we can have anything we desire in life – surely other people andevents determine what we experience? While there is some practical truth inthis, there is also ample evidence that many of us put barriers in the way ofour receiving. We often turn away from positive opportunities or experiencesand at times even deliberately (though unconsciously) sabotage them. We can beour own worst enemy. It is in understanding why we do this that we can open thedoors in our life to receiving all the rewards, pleasures and fulfilment thatwe crave.We must look at our self-esteem for thecontrolling factor for our ability to receive. If we have low self-esteem wewill feel unworthy and therefore undeserving to receive life’s rewards, thelove of the people around us, or divine love. Here are some indicators that suggestwe might struggle to receive: When somebody compliments us we feel awkward,embarrassed or guilty. We do not enjoy Christmas or Birthdays when we aregiven gifts.When we are given a compliment or a gift we myimmediately want to reciprocate without giving time to thank or appreciate thegiver. We never quite reach the point of success or reward. Ifwe do have a success we often lose it quickly or don’t feel good about it. We would rather give a present than receive it. We hate people making a fuss over us or treating uskindly. We are often rushing around looking after everybodyelse’s well-being or happiness. Something important is never present in your life –there is always a feel of lack.If you recognised any of these you are notalone. An ability to receive fully is at the heart of most human problems. Itcan usually be traced back to a level of guilt and feeling of failure aroundour original families, where we subconsciously believe we have let our parentsand siblings down. This lowers our self-worth and esteem and makes us feel thatwe do not deserve to have life’s rewards. Obviously the key is to findself-forgiveness and to feel more worthy.So how do we move forward and become betterreceivers? The first thing we can do is to become aware of when we are NOTreceiving. Notice the occasions when you are pushing away compliments. Ifsomebody says something nice to you, look them in the eyes and say a heartfeltthank you – really receive their gift. You may not have appreciated it, butwhen we fail to accept a gift whether physical or emotional, we effectivelyattack the giver. Of course this is hugely destructive to a relationship. Areyou failing to accept your partner’s gifts in your relationship? You can becomemore open to the love that people are trying to express to you and graduallyyou will start receiving it. This will have an immediate and positive effect onall other areas of your life. Although, working to feel worthy to receiveis important there is an even quicker way to hone this skill. By giving trulyto the people in our lives we automatically open ourselves for receiving. Youonly need to think about to the times you have fallen in love for an example ofthis powerful principle. The more you gave to your partner the more they gavein return and vice versa. Giving and receiving are intimately connected. Youwill however need to make sure that the giving is true by which I mean that itis giving without any expectation ofreturn – the giving comes simply from the joy of the process. Our expectationscome from our needs, and if we try to get these met by giving untruly, we willsoon get hurt. I should mention the more practical aspectsof receiving and what is sometimes called manifesting. We can have anything wewant in life if we want it 100%. We must remove all barriers to receiving forthis to happen. Please remember though that if there is any negativity in yourmind, this will also manifest in just the same way. The trick is to make surethat what you want is part of your general desire to increase the amount oflove in your life – not to simply distract you from a need or other problem orgive you instant gratification. Once you are sure this is the case, visualisehaving the thing you want with all your heart and all your senses. Then let gocompletely of the desire and trust that you will receive that thing. If youhave successfully removed the emotional barriers, your manifest will appear inyour life soon. For those with a spiritual interest inreceiving, you can visualise that God, heaven or spirit, (or whatever yourmetaphor for a divine power or presence is), showering love and gifts down toyou continually. If this is not happening, visualise a force field that youhave created that is causing the gifts to bounce off? Imagine yourself meltingor opening up the force field and allowing in all that is intended for you.Feel worthy, and deserving of life’s riches and appreciate all that is good inyour life. In this way you can trust that you are blessed and that all that youneed for happiness, health, relationships and success will appear at the righttime – you will move into the flow of life and become totally abundant.