How,Kill,Fear,When,Dealing,wit DIY How to Kill Fear When Dealing with Aggressive People

When starting a new work at home business it is very easy to become consumed by it. We spend so much time trying to get the business up and running that we may end up becoming burned out and lose our motivation. There is so much to learn and Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0in

The book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers isregarded as a self help classic. Have you read it?I read it many years ago and I was disappointed by the contentof this book that has helped a lot of people take control oftheir fears. Why? Because I believe we all have the power to gofar beyond feeling the fear.And I really think it is important to learn how to transform fearinto courage by learning how to use more of your mind and how totake charge of your emotions.There are two ways to take fear and transform it into a differentemotional state:- Release the fear by letting go of it.- Change the way you represent the experience so that it nolonger makes you feel fearful.Today I want to look at changing how you represent experiences toyourself.1 Pick a person you deal with on a regular basis who you findintimidating. Get started by choosing someone who causes you tofeel mild fear.2 Ask yourself -- what does it get me feeling fear around thisperson?Typically you will answer that the fear causes you to be morealert and careful. However the irony is that when you feel fearyou are less capable of responding well to the challenges of thesituation.Let me give you an example. When I lived the corporate sales lifea number of years ago I had a crazy boss.He would scream down the phone at me, thump the desk with hisfist in meetings and threaten to fire me if certain goals werenot achieved. I never took this personally because he treatedother people in the same way. Still I did feel fear when dealingwith him.What did I get by feeling fear?It meant I was careful to say the right thing and to do my job tothe best of my abilities to ensure he had no reason to haveanother go at me.Nevertheless it was not an ideal situation!3 If you cannot influence the behavior of the intimidator changehow you feel.In the case of my boss I matched his behavior to get rapport.When he shouted at me I raised my voice to speak back. When heslammed the desk I became more animated in how I talked and Iused my hands more when expressing myself.This pacing will help. However it is not enough you also need tochange how you feel.Before you start working with the following approach make sureyou are feeling energetic and resourceful otherwise you could getdragged back into the fear itself.Now take a recent encounter with the intimidator and run thescene in your mind as if you are watching it on TV. Pretend youare outside the event watching as a bystander.Next, distort the images until the other person looks absurd.Dress the person in silly clothes or even no clothes! Changetheir voice until it sounds squeaky like a cartoon character.Slow down their speech until it sounds like a worn out tape. Thenspeed up the speech until they sound like a bumble bee.Play the scene backwards, upside down or with zero gravity. Dowhatever you have to until the scene is ludicrous.Keep playing with the sounds and images until you are eitherlaughing or at least smiling when you think of the intimidator.At this point you have turned fear into a more resourcefulemotional state. Well done!When you are new to this technique you will need to run throughit several times until you get the hang of it. And for difficultsituations I recommend using it daily to shake off thoseunpleasant feelings of fear you have associated to that person.4 Keep the benefits of the fear and not the fear itselfAfter step 2 above you know how your fear is serving you.Let us say the fear gives you alertness, safety and carefulness.How are you going to behave carefully around the intimidatorwithout feeling the fear?You need to write down or run through likely scenarios in yourmind until you are well prepared to handle whatever is thrown atyou.This step is very important and you are in trouble if you skip it.In my case I was mentally ready to work elsewhere, I saved upsome money so that if I did get fired it would not be the end ofthe world and I was always careful to only promise what I knew Icould deliver.If I had just changed how I felt without dealing effectivelywith the situation I would have been in a very difficultsituation.Your goal ought to be to feel resourceful and to be intelligentin how you deal with difficult people.Using these tips will help you. How much this information helpswill depend on how much energy you put into applying thisapproach.When I look back on my aggressive boss situation I know that Icould have done even more to handle it better. So like you I amalways learning.The important thing is to get started and keep heading in theright direction. And take even one step each day to take youforward.NB: get help immediately if you are dealing with a violent individual