Write,Better,Online,Personal,T DIY Write a Better Online Personal Ad

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This article is available on the web as well as byautoresponder. If you decide to publish, please let us knowat [email protected] and be sure to include the bylines.Thank you.ARTICLE URL: http://www.dateable.com/brand/articleadtips.shtmlAUTORESPONDER: [email protected] COUNT: 1511===========================================Write a Better Online Personal AdBy Tracy Brant at Dateable.comIf you are going to invest time or money in using amatchmaking website, you should really pay some attention towriting a profile that will get you some responses. Peoplewill not be interested in emailing you if you do not dosomething to make yourself stand out from the masses ofpeople using personal ads.I administer several dating websites. People frequentlywrite in saying, "I never get any replies to my ad." Andwhen I go look at the ad, I find that they have not filledout the profile, or added a photo. Who can tell if they wantto email you if there is no information? Not quite as bad,but still ineffective, is a profile that says, "Email me fordetails" or "looking for a nice person." You can't botherto write a paragraph to find the love of your life? Or evena fun date for the weekend?Here are some guidelines for writing effective personal adblurbs:INVESTMENT. Decide that this is worth spending some timeon, or don't bother. You wouldn't submit a sloppy resume,would you? This is about making a good first impression,because there will be no second chance once someone clicksto the next ad.MARKETING. You are marketing yourself... trying to standout in a crowd. You are the "product." and the people youwant to meet are your customers. Think about who you want tomeet, and then think about who THEY want to meet! How canyou tell them that YOU are the person they want to meet? Magazine ads, for example, grab your attention, make youlaugh, they make you think "wow, what a great thing... Iwant to buy it." They can be short, but pack a punch. Ifthey are long, they tell a good story. Marketers test theirdifferent ad campaigns, and you should, too. Try placingdifferent ads to see what gets you a better result.PREPARATION. Before you log in anywhere, do some thinkingand writing. Don't wait until you are faced with a blinkingcursor to write your blurb. Give serious thought to how youwill describe yourself and the person you hope to find. Write at least two paragraphs, one about yourself, and oneabout the person you seek. Ask someone you trust to readthose paragraphs and comment on how well they reflect whoyou are and what you want. Save that text to cut and pasteinto dating website forms. Have a digital photo or twoready.OPENING LINES. Use your username... don't be Bob3456... bePaintBallPrincess or SecretSuperHero or something else thatreflects your sense of humor and yourself. If the ad allowsyou a "subject line" also use that well... "Need woman inAtlanta" doesn't cut it. "Atlanta man on a mission" soundsmore interesting. "Atlanta Knight seeks his Queen" tells adifferent story about who you are seeking. Use your usernameand subject line to hook people into your ad. Use humor,drama, a funky metaphor. Then, like any good ad, you want toshow them you are what they need, show them why you areunique, and invite them to take action... by emailing you!DETAILS. Write in complete sentences. Spelling and grammarDO count. We have modern tools to help with that. You wantto look like you find this task important enough to spellout the words. Unless you are 15 years old, writing "If u rinrested n me, wrt 2 me" makes you LOOK 15 years old. ALLCAPS IS LIKE SHOUTING... don't. It is actually harder toread.HONESTY. If you are not honest with yourself and others,you will not find happiness in the personals. Are youmarried? You know, people CAN figure that out and willresent the lie more than the wedding ring. Without makingany value judgements, putting down "married" will notnecessarily stop you from finding matches. If you are justlooking for a casual date, don't imply that you are lookingfor marriage just to get more email... it wastes everyone'stime. If you are looking for a long-term thing, don't thinkyou can "convince" a casual date to spend more time withyou. You are asking for disappointment. Try completing thissentence: "In a year, I'd like to see us doing...."STRINGS. Guys, I see many you making a crucial mistake inyour profiles. You will find that women are seldom lookingfor a "no strings relationship." There simply is no suchthing... if it is a relationship, it has strings of SOMEsort. If you don't want strings, you are looking for anescort service. Women of any description can find casualphysical relationships without lifting a finger to akeyboard. Don't lie, but think about which "strings" areokay with you. "Seeking Torrid Summer Romance" is fine andhonest. So is, "I am not eager to move in or get married. Iwant to have a regular date for parties and cookouts with myfriends." Ladies, this counts for you, too. If yourpersonal ad sounds like you might be offering paid sexualservices, you are going to get some rude offers. You mightavoid phrases like, "looking for a wealthy man with good taste in jewelry."BEYOND PHYSICAL. Have you ever really dated someone justfor their eye color? OK, maybe you have spectaculareyeballs. But ads tend to reel off personal stats... andthen stop there, as though there were nothing but a body. Most personal sites let you click things to describe youreyes, hair, and height... don't waste valuable profile spaceon your hair. Talk about who you are first, and what youlook like at the end. Want to know the number one thingsurveyed women look for in a guy? A sense of humor.AVOID NEGATIVES. This is not the place to list all thethings that drove you crazy about your ex and how you won'tput up with that again. Don't list what you don't want...discuss what you DO want. Turn your own lifestyle quirksinto positives, not obstacles. Workaholic? Try, "My careerkeeps me very busy, so I need someone with a flexibleschedule for spontaneous one-day adventures." Frugal to afault? Try "I find it amusing to squeeze a nickel 'til itscreams... help me research for my web column "CheapDatesfor CheapSkates." Worried people will regard your childrenas an obstacle? "My family is very important to me and Ihope to find someone that will enjoy the attention of a warmfamily circle."POST A PHOTO. Website statistics show that an ad with aphoto is 80% more likely to get a response. A photo thatshows you relaxed and having fun, no matter what you looklike, is even better. Don't use a photo that isn't current..it isn't worth looking so insecure, or being rejected later. Don't rush to ask for a photo... you may look like a "pictrader," someone who is collecting photos rather thanlooking for a real date. Don't stress about your looks...attraction is about more than looks. Yes, we often are firstattracted to someone by looks, when we meet in person. Buton the Internet, if you seem like a jerk, you won't get thechance to meet in person.LIFE STAGES. People often say that "age" is not asimportant as "life stage." Where are you in your life? Juststarting out in a new career? Settled into life with kids? Empty-nesting? Exploring new interests? These are thingsthat matter. Talk about what is important in your life. "Iam established in my career and now turning my attention tothe great books I never had time to read." "I moved to thisstate for a job after college, and I am looking for dateswith a lot of outdoors-loving friends to help me build asporty new social circle."FAVORITE THINGS. Listing ALL your favorite things isdizzying.. Choose one good example and talk about why youlike it. Choose something that gives the reader an insightinto what you enjoy. You want people to be able to spotthings you have in common, but also feel that there issomething new and interesting to learn about you. Interestthem in learning more with a "teaser" about somethingfascinating about you. Ask a question for them to answer inthe reply email.RULES. Never... NEVER include your last name, phone numberor address. Observe the rules of the various websites...some do not allow you to post web addresses or emailaddresses. Many prohibit crude language or sexualreferences. Getting your ad removed by breaking rules is awaste of time.So... let your personality be shown in a tasteful way, takethe time to do a good job, and have a good photo. Thosethings alone will put you far ahead of the misspelledanonymous pack. Best of luck!© Dateable.com LLC 2002